17 September, 2006

thanks for the add...

nothing new here, kids...
i'm just gonna bitch about the advertising on myspace for a while....

So there's a little advert for the 'AA' that pops up on my profile.
Great.
It says something about 'having a friend' in the AA.
Cute...like it...I see what they've done there...'Friend'...yeah...very now, very myspace, very web2.0...
Now, you may not know this but me and the AA go way back. WAY back.
When you've got a carbon footprint as big as mine and you're doing it all in old volkswagens and busted up vans you're gonna need the right people on your side, right? I've been hanging out with those cats since the day I got my licence, two days after my seventeenth birthday. Yeah...we used to meet up and party quite a lot; sometimes in my front garden, sometimes up in the city after a crazy night out. In fact, as I look back over my younger days it seems as though, at most of the major goodtime life events I can recall, there was always a big yellow truck pulled up by my orange bug with a grease monkey hanging out the back of it. Yup, come rain or shine, there was always a big friendly pair of hands, all wrapped up in reflective clothing, that knew exactly what to do to get things moving and put a smile on everyone's face.
Ahhh, good times...
good people...

...good friends.
You know, the kind of folks who are always welcome in your house.
"Would you like a cup of tea? You must be freezing."
And, "You got here fast, were you close by?"
And of course, "Tell you what, why don't you wait here and play with the dog and flirt with my girlfriend while I go and put the kettle on?"
All that stuff.
Friend stuff.
Side by side.
Hand in hand.
Like the time they diddled me out of £400.
Like the times they pretended they didn't know me.
Like the time they left me stranded in Scotland in the middle of the night and I had to set my mum on them.
Yup, true friends.
Actually, really, yes...just like real friends.

Oh yeah, and there's some loan people up there as well.
Listen, don't go to these people.
You want money?
I can get you money.
We can work this out...you and me.
Here, take this...go and get yourself something nice. Go have a good time and come and see mrtat in a week.
You look after me...I'll look after you.
Now bend over.



mrtat.


p.s. that mum thing really worked a treat. if you look closely at the next patrol guy you have, you might just see her big black carbon footprint stamped on his reflective yellow AAss.

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